It Takes ONE Person: A Letter to My Mother

Dear Mom,

ONE — It just takes ONE person to change your life. One person to walk in when everyone else walks out; one person to believe in you, or even one person to break you down and shit on you. But nonetheless, good or bad, it just takes ONE.

I am a firm believer that each person that walks in or out of your life, no matter how long they are or were there, has a purpose or a lesson to teach you. Sometimes it can be seen right away, and sometimes it takes years to figure it out.

You, Mom, are the ONE person in my life that has always been my day-one, my constant, my biggest teacher, and number one supporter. The thing is, I have seen a lot of children who don’t have near the relationship with their mom or dad that we have and I feel bad for them; you didn’t fill that role because you were forced, you did it because you wanted to.

Throughout my childhood, I watched you take on numerous roles and titles, some you shouldn’t have had to, and some that I never knew possible. You were never just my mom, and it’s funny, that’s all I wanted you to be. I just wanted you to be my mom, but you are so much more than that. I thank God every single day that I get to be your daughter – it is a privilege and an honor.

And even though you have thought many times that you have failed your children, there are so many children out there without parents, and I just think to myself, “it just takes ONE person to change their life”. I don’t think parenting is a pass/fail course, but effort is a pretty accurate indicator of passing. So every time you question your capability of being a “good” parent (whoever decides that), just know that you are my hero and you pass in my book.

The challenges you have overcome, the pride you refuse to let anyone crush, and the heart of gold that shines as bright as the sun – I hope to be half the woman you are, half the mother you are. I look up to you; you are my role model, my mentor. I hope to show my children a fraction of the love you have shown to us.

You have taught me endless lessons in the last 24 years I have been with you, but there are 5 that really stand out to me:

No one defines you but yourself. The absolute hardest lesson I have ever had to learn took the most time. It drained me emotionally for years, and I know it did the same for you to watch me, but you did an amazing job of hiding it and being strong for me when I needed you the most.

It’s okay to cry, but not in softball. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I don’t have a poker face to save my life. You taught me to share my emotion, but there is a time and place. The softball diamond is never the place – even if you tear your meniscus or get drilled with a 65 MPH fast ball to the forearm. It’s okay, I’m tougher now. Ha.

Sing even if someone IS listening. We share a love for music; singing on every car ride making up our own lyrics if we needed to. You have taught me to carry on whether or not anyone is listening; it is important to be yourself and make yourself happy.

You are never alone. You have provided me with the knowledge and education to make my own decisions about my faith. You helped me see that even at rock bottom, it’s you and God.

Love, like a circle, never ends. You have shown me nothing but unconditional love even on days you didn’t like me, and for that I am forever grateful. Your heart is pure and genuine – that’s all there is to it.

All I have left to say is I appreciate you.

XOXO

-Han

 

 

2018 – New Year; Same Me

For the first time in my life, I woke up on New Years Day without motivation to completely change things in my life or to start with a clean slate. And let me tell you, there is something so relaxing about being so appreciative of the blessings you have that you wouldn’t change anything.

Of course I have made a few New Year’s resolutions, but why wouldn’t you? Everyone could stand to better themselves, and life would be boring if you weren’t constantly working toward a  goal of some sort. Instead of weight loss goals and new workout programs that fade after month 1, I have changed the format of my goals.

So I figured I’d share some of my resolutions; maybe it will hold me more accountable.

  1. Start/build a personal blog. I have been thinking about starting a blog on and off for a couple of years now. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put myself in a vulnerable situation and share my life with everyone and their dog, but then, I wondered if maybe I was doing a disservice to those who might gain something from my experiences and life adventures. So here we are – I took the plunge and we will see how it goes and where it takes me.
  2. Learn to play the piano. I have always been able to carry a tune with my voice. You can generally find me doing one of two things – singing and/or dancing, but I have never been able to read music fluently which turned me away from being a part of the choir or band. Music is a large part of my life; it is one of my stress relievers, my expression of emotion, and it gives me something to dance to – another of my favorite things to do. I’d like to start learning to play the piano this year, and I know that I won’t make it big by playing the piano, but it would be big for me to achieve this goal.
  3. Be the BEST me.  Now I know this should be on my list every year, but my career has shown me that life is so much more than me and you. The year 2017 brought about a lot of experiences that challenged my mind, body, and soul. And not that I reacted to each situation in the wrong way, but I learned that, “Nothing can stop God’s plan for your life.” – Isaiah 14:27. So my goal is to take each situation that 2018 has to throw at me and learn from it, change from it, and move on from it.

I have fitness goals as well but those have been manipulated from weight loss goals to non-scale goals and challenges that are attainable in my mind. Some of those include:

  1. Achieve 2 of my 3 (if not 3) of my monthly goals. I like to set weekly and monthly goals to give me a short-term goal to keep focused on. Usually those short-term goals will increase or encourage the achievement of my yearly goal.
  2. Run 200 miles in 2018. I don’t enjoy running, but that is the first thing I turn to when I am stressed or am feeling down. I have never been a runner, I just do it to keep somewhat in shape, but I have been determined for about 5 years to force myself to enjoy running. This past year, I ran just over 150 miles; I took a few months off. I tend to get bored with running and move on to something else.
  3. Run a 9 minute mile by June. I like to take my time when I run, but I’d like to take a minute off my general mile time. Some of you may think this should be an easy goal to obtain, however, my short stubby legs can only take me so far so fast, and if you know me, you know that my lungs don’t have the capacity to run at intense speeds for long periods of time. My motto has always gone back to the tortoise and the hare – slow and steady wins the race.
  4. Last but not least, I have a goal to sit on the pull-up assist machine maxed out without dropping. This, indirectly, is a weight goal, but it is a fun one that isn’t going to make or break my year if I don’t achieve it. I just thought it would be something different.

Should I enjoy blogging for the remainder of the year, an additional goal will be to post about which resolutions and goals were achieved, and which ones maybe were not. I’ll tell why/how they were achieved and why they weren’t if that’s the case.

What are your goals or resolutions? What are you going to do to achieve them?

Cheers to the start of 2018. May this year be filled with adventures, good health, great memories, and love!

Much love,

-Han